The Role Of ” Sex ” In The Relationship


How important is sex for the relationship? Is the “great sex” contributes to relationship satisfaction, precave of separation? Does the “bad sex” or lack of sex cause negative consequences, affects the possibility of divorce?

With the significant advancement of sexology and sexual medicine in recent years, today we can mention certain trends in matching the surveys and research studies:

  • The vast majority of the population holds that sex is a very important aspect in their lives, especially among those who are married
  • The vast majority of men and women either married or a couple argue that they care much to have a satisfying sex life
  • The vast majority of people claim that an enjoyable sex life enhances their quality of life
  • The vast majority of people argue that an unsatisfactory sex life can lead to many problems such as depression and especially lead to the breakup of the relationship
  • The vast majority of research conclude that transverse subjective sexual well-being is positively correlated with the general level of happiness, both men and women, and that, conversely, sexual dysfunctions are highly associated with negative experiences in the relationship partner and general welfare, as well as physical health problems and emotional
  • There is evidence of a close relationship between sexual dysfunction and depression, which affect each other
  • The vast majority of transverse and longitudinal studies have repeatedly shown that those who live with a partner, have better health, live longer, feel more at peace and are more satisfied with their lives than those who do not
  • The vast majority of the population live in couple or family wanting to live in

Sexual Medicine suggests that sexuality is part of our overall health and a fulfilling sex life brings significant benefits to our physical and emotional wellbeing, increasing satisfaction with life in general, relative acting as an antidote against mental symptoms and mood stabilizing . Chile also reported that people put much of their hopes of self in sexuality, along with love and married life (Bicentennial Survey).

Empirical evidence agree that sexual well being and subjective satisfaction with the couple go together for both sexes. For example, even families with small children, unstable finances and strenuous times, say they have a very strong bond, which partially attributed to its pleasurable sexual life. Those who declare themselves pleased with both their marriage and with their sex life say their sex are common, they do not want to have sex with other people, who often refuse their partner sexually, and if it rejects them, are tolerant and understanding. In marriages “healthy” long-standing, both see sex as an expression of sensuality, passion, tenderness, affection, love and play. I met within the relationship and not used to manipulate or resolving conflicts.

In contrast, sexual dissatisfaction negatively affects the perception of others and the relationship as a whole. Lack of sex for long periods has been correlated with decreased and mutual satisfaction with discouragement and apathy in communication, routine, boredom, inertia and disinterest. In most sexually dissatisfied couples, life becomes complicated and sexual problems affect other planes, manifesting in miscommunication, reproaches and emotional distress, among others. Moreover, sexual satisfaction helps maintain the illusion, triggers the mechanism approach, enjoyment, growth and eroticism, in other words, is a major factor contributing motivational and fun to look forward to resolving difficulties with other areas, noting that one should not fall into believing that coexistence problems can be solved through sex or that most of the disagreements are due to sex.

But correlations above what came first, the chicken or the egg?; Does a positive link partner increased sexual satisfaction is the opposite?. The data suggest that if the person is dissatisfied with her marriage, hardly feel pleased with your sex life, similarly, if you are frustrated with some important aspect of your sex life (frequency, level of sensuality, hygiene, etc.), It Most likely not perceive that their relationship is appropriate. Consequently, sexuality and relationship are closely related; difficultly may stand in the time of these satisfactions if not present the other also. Sexual problems affect the relationship, in the same way that conflicts in the couple relationship influence the sexual relationship.

The sexual wellbeing plays a significant role in dyadic adjustment. There is a high correlation between marital stability, on the one hand, and sexual satisfaction, feelings of love and emotional expression, on the other hand. It is concluded that, for a marriage to work relatively well, there must be a minimum of sexual gratification, and that sense of confidence that is generated with sexual life would increase, in turn, marital success. According to cross-sectional studies of marriages “happy and lasting” (married 25 years), 90% say that the feeling of closeness is an essential aspect in marital satisfaction and that among the factors that determine the closeness, a satisfying is essential in general, since it is necessary to generate the feeling of being in the company, of sharing and fellowship.

But how important is sexual wellness on other variables? In a recent survey found that for 57% of participants, sex occupied a special place in their lives in general and the percentage rises to 80% compared to the relevance assigned within their partnership (for 39% accounted for almost half of the entire relationship and only 4% relegates to the background, giving a 20% significance). Similarly, the comparársela with other factors, while the sexual satisfaction explain approx. 60% of the variance in marital satisfaction, temperament explain approx. 20% and approx personality. 10% (ie the dimensions of neuroticism and extraversion). Moreover, the positive dimensions of temperament and personality are mediated by the sexual, ie affect marital satisfaction as long as there is a sexual being (however, although less significant individual traits, sexual activity is influenced by the personality ). Other findings suggest that the significance of the pair assigned to your sex life does not diminish with the years of coexistence, but remains constant and that sex has the potential to evolve into something even more satisfying over time.
Are there gender differences?. Each person and each couple has its own sexuality differently, with no rules or recipes for living and may have, for each member, so a value as a different meaning: for some it is basically a physical pleasure, while for others it is an emotional component of union with the other. Until relatively short time ago, the significance attributed to men sex in marital satisfaction was higher than in women. However, in recent years has caused a shift, with the highest priority to them (70%) than for them (56%). The new generation of females say they are sexually active need to feel good, it affects their self-esteem and personal satisfaction, and that, conversely, no sexual pleasure feel needy, nervous and frustrated.

Does it matter the frequency of sex? Most studies conclude that this is a decisive factor in marital adjustment, whereas as less assiduous, the greater the likelihood of instability – independent of the variable frequency agree – especially for men, who are reported happier with their marriage when there was more sex and less masturbation. In contrast, in women, a more fulfilling sexuality was before linked positive affect toward a spouse, emotional well-being and pleasure, rather than the number of relationships. But recently it has been found that the frequency is being particularly significant in the subjective satisfaction of them with your partner, holding that the more frequent and enjoyable, more want to. The pleasure of lovemaking, feeds the desire itself.

One skilled in the happiness of Chileans (Tironi) suggests that sexual frequency has an important report happiness for individuals and couples who have sex are more stable than the rest of the population, therefore, are happier. And this is exacerbated among those who have had access to a good education, that is, the more educated people, makes them happier as often sexual. Although other authors argue that the amount would be less important than the subjective feeling of satisfaction with sex life, where the depth of intimacy plays a very important role.

Why is it so important to sexual satisfaction? Among the possible scenarios you can use the triangular theory of love, which postulates that sexual passion and intimacy are two of the three fundamental pillars of any relationship and, for others, sexual manifestations comprise of intimacy and further potentiate practice. The data indicate that intimacy repeatedly (with empathy) ranks first among the objectives sought in marriage and intimacy that is associated with both sexual satisfaction to marital.

Another explanation can be found in neurobiological theories, which emphasize the role of sexual pleasure in the natural support of the bond in couples in stable relationships and persistent. Specifically postulate that, whenever the couple experiences a satisfying sexual encounter, such releases of oxytocin in the brain and in the body that increases the sense of union between them, of belonging and security. So while most have a satisfactory sex partner, the stronger the bond between them, they will feel closer and attached to each other, feeling happier in their marriage.

intercourseSo when we talk about sexuality, not referring only to intercourse or mere sexual pleasure. We are sexual beings when we touched, kissed and hugged, but also when we laugh and have fun together. The erotic experience involves more than just genital interaction, involves expression of emotions, bonding, complicity and a very intimate form of communication, where we can be so in confidence to dare to show vulnerable, asking for help and expressing fears without feeling judged . Human beings, as complex and highly developed organism, requires a level of satisfaction that encompasses various components in order to achieve a sense of harmony and wholeness. That is, a positive and comprehensive sexuality is a much higher gratification and complete than the purely biological and is in this sense that, if done within the context of affectively suitable partner, will enable us to meet the needs of both physical order as the psycho-emotional and psychosocial.

In conclusion, there is consensus that sexuality is a fundamental pillar in itself of the relationship beyond the feelings and communication. However, as in many other situations of human life, is not much, nor too little and depends on many other factors involved. What is that, ultimately, sex is a powerful bond between the couple and represents a way of being in pairs is qualitatively very different as can be with other peoplea